V. >> I became a better skier because I’m a mom. Yeah, you heard it. I’m not a better skier because I’m more cautious or because I wear a helmet (I don’t… but maybe I should… :S). In the past, I’d always thought of myself as a very cautious skier. After having a concussion, strained my knee and stumbled and pierced my lip with my braces as a teenager, I became more comfortable going slow, taking it easy, and not pushing myself. Going too fast made me feel out of control, made my heart beat in a very negative way, and exhausted me.
The other day, I went skiing with my good friend. She’s an excellent skier, and I’ve always thought that she went WAAAY too fast on the slopes for me! I felt totally fine asking her not to wait for me, and to do my own runs and meet her at the bottom. I never thought that, this time around, and after not having skied for 2 years, she would be following me on a very difficult slope!
We got to the bottom and she exclaimed: “holy shit, how did you get so good?!” I smiled and responded that I thought that that was a particular good run! Apparently, my technique got better… but I haven’t gotten lessons in more than 10 years. She asked me why I thought I got so much better, and I said “I think it’s because I’m a mom!”
When I got pregnant, I realized how ridiculous it was for me to waste so much time getting stressed out and doubting myself. Being pregnant, I was totally at peace with my situation. I felt as though it was right, that I knew what I was doing, that everything was going to be okay. Even at work, which is an emotionally challenging job, my coworkers were commenting on how much they thought I’d changed. All of a sudden, I became so much more relaxed in life. The little things didn’t matter so much. I smiled a lot more, enjoyed life a lot better. My relationships improved, I had more energy, and surprisingly enough, I took more (safe) risks.
I’ve learned that the best gift that I can give my daughter is my presence of mind and my confidence in my abilities. When she’s having a bad night, and she’s crying out of her mind, being calm while rocking her, and not doubting myself is what I think helps her the most to feel safe and comforted.
Don’t think that this new attitude means that I ask for less help and don’t try to learn new ways of doing stuff. On the contrary, I find myself being a lot more humble, and feel that it is easier to ask and take advice. I find it more interesting to learn new ways of doing things because I keep a more open mind about things. I trust that from what I learn, I will be able to figure out the best way of doing things for my family. And I trust that, if I make a mistake, it’s okay. It’s not the end of the world. I will survive and be better for these mistakes. I want my daughter to feel that it’s okay to stumble and fall and get hurt because you get so much stronger through these mistakes.
And so, while going down this crazy slope, I let go, trusted myself that I was a good enough skier to go down that path, and had SO MUCH FUN!!!!