Parenting / Raising Girls

Dear “Souris”, It’s Okay If You Cry.

Sometimes, you will cry because you are in pain. And sometimes you will cry because you’re afraid. Sometimes you will cry because your pride has been hurt, and sometimes you will cry because you feel alone. I can hold your hand, and give you a hug. I can listen to your sorrows and I can help you find a way out, but I promise you. I will never try and take away your tears.

Mom and daughter

Souris, your tears are like the map to your life. They will be your guide when things get hard. They will help you figure out what you want and most importantly, what you need. Without these tears, and without the pain that comes with them, it will be hard for you to know how to move forward, it will be impossible to for you to know what it is that you want and need out of life.

Some parents think that their job is to show their children how to go through life. They develop goals and dreams for their children and hope that they can guide them towards their own personal reveries. If their child is having a hard time, they swoop in like a snow plow, try to make things safer, better, easier. I promise you that I will do as much as possible to not let that happen for you.

I want you to learn to fail gracefully. I want you to get hurt so that you know how to get back up again. I want you to make mistakes so that you will know how to turn back and take another route. Your life will be gritty and beautiful. Through your pain, you will become strong, inspiring, thoughtful and sensitive.

However, I also promise you that I will always be there to support you. If you need advice, I will do my best to let you know how I see things. If you’ve fallen and need help to get up, I will grab your hand and pull you up. I will not abandon you. Perhaps sometimes you will feel that, because I’m letting you figure some things out on your own, it’s because I don’t care. But when the tears dry up, and you’ve found your way, you will understand and I hope that you will be grateful.

Your life is yours to live and to love. My greatest joy and peace of mind will come through witnessing how you make it your own. Whether you be an artist or a doctor, a secretary or a CEO, what matters to me is that (as your grandfather would say) you are able to pay your bills and that job gives you purpose in life.

And hopefully when you are grown and if you choose that having children is part of your Master Plan, you will yourself turn around and not try to take your own child’s tears away.

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